|The Golf Cart|
Dumber and Plumber
Kwickie-Mart Bad Gas
Man: (Censored) How may I help you
Milton: Oh thank god you answered! We got problems. I'm out on the course my golf cart will not shut off!
Man: It won't shut off?
Milton: Golf cart will not shut off! What did I stutter? IT WILL NOT SHUT OFF! I'm out here I teed off about an hour ago. I sliced one into the woods, got back in the cart to try and find the ball, and BAM it took off like a rocket. Cannot shut the golf cart off. It's going as fast as it can go!
Man: Well are you in it?
Milton: Yes I'm in it. Of course I'm in it!
Man: Where are you?
Milton: I was at three I don't know where the hell I am! I'm a mile away!
Man: Okay I'm coming out trying to find you.
Milton: Hold on a sec how do I shut this off? Help me through this first!
Man: Okay hi-hit the break.
Milton: I'm weaving, I'm swerving, I'm trying to avoid hitting other golfers
Man: HIT THE BREAK!
Milton: Hang O-hang on a minute!
(Milton hits the break)
Milton: Hitting break. Nothings happening
Man: Okay reach down their and turn the key off.
Milton: Ohh like I'm a moron that's the first thing I tried! Hold on a sec. Trying again. Listen to this!
(Milton turns the key)
Milton: Just turning! Doing absolutely nothing!
Man: Okay grab the handle, the black handle, and pull it up to the middle.
Milton: Black handle. I-I tried that, it snapped off in my hand. The whole thing broke in half, and I threw it out of the cart!
Man: Okay I'm on my way.
Milton: What else should I do. Hold on a sec. Don't leave me yet! I'm swerving and weaving. Holy, SIR LOOK OUT! SIR LOOK OUT!
(Milton runs a man over)
Milton: Holy crap! I just mowed him over!
Man: Did the cart stop?
Milton: No it's keep on going!
Man: Well get out of it!
Milton: WHAT!? Little louder what you say?
Man: I said I would try to jump out of the cart!
Milton: Okay.... LADIES LOOK OUT!
(Milton runs over some women)
Milton: DAHH! I think I killed them!
Man: Jump out of the cart!
Milton: I can't jump out of the cart. I don't know where it's gonna go!
Man: I'm on my way them.
Milton: Hold on a Sec. I got the water coming up! I got the lake coming up! Should I run it into the lake?
Man: Run it into the lake!
Milton: Okay here we go. Oh my God! Here we g...
(Cart crashed into lake)
Milton: I'm in the water.
Man: Can you get out of it?
Man: Can you get out of the water?
Milton: Okay....(starts drowning). The cart is completely ruined.
Man: I'm coming out to get you
Milton: Can't swim. I can't swim. Help!
Man: Get out of it!
Milton: HELP! I'm going under!
Man: Get out of their!
(Milton drowns and presumably dies)