| The Bulldozer | |
|---|---|
| Call 14 | |
| Prank Call Guide | |
| Previous Lick the Pope? |
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The Bulldozer is the fourteenth prank call in the Crotchety Old Man Calls series.
Transcript[]
(ringback tone)
Bob: Joe's Heavy Equipment.
Milton: Oh! Thank God you've answered! Who is this?!
Bob: This is Bob!
Milton: Bob! I rented one of your bulldozers! I'm on it right now and it's out of control!
Bob: Uh...
(Milton crashes into a Buick)
Milton: Holy crap! I just plowed into a Buick! How do I turn this thing off?!
Bob: Uhh...what?
(Milton crashes into another car)
Milton: Oh! Holy-! Gee, I just ran into another car! I was plowing a lot in my residential neighborhood and it's gone completely out of control!
Bob: Sir, sir...
Milton: What?!
(Milton runs over a gazebo)
Bob: Sir, what-? Sir! Sir!
Milton: Holy-! Ah! I just ran over somebody's gazebo!
Bob: Sir, what- which model is it? Which model bulldozer?
Milton: Uhh...it was a Caterpillar!
Bob: Yeah?
Milton: Eh, um.....D!..D6!
Bob: D, D6! D6! D6! Um...
Milton: D6! And it's out of contr-!
(Milton crashes through a house)
Milton: (screaming in pain and terror, grunting)
Bob: Sir! Sir!
Milton: (screaming) Hold on a sec! I'm crashing through somebody's house! (screaming) All I can say is thank God I had a cell phone with me! (grunting) Okay!
Bob: Sir!
Milton: I'm ou- I'm out on the street now!
Bob: Turn off the ignition!
Milton: What?!
Bob: Turn off the ignition! It's right there on the dash!
Milton: I've tried! The key snapped off in the ignition! It's all bent up! It won't shut off!
(Milton crashes into another car)
Milton: (screaming and grunting) I just hit another car!
Bob: Sir, there's a killswitch in it on your left!
Milton: I'm trying!
(Milton attempting to press killswitch)
Bob: Hit the killswitch!
(Milton runs over a toolshed)
Milton: (screaming and grunting)
Bob: Sir! Hit the killswitch!
Milton: I tried! Nothing is happening! Nothing- ah! I just ran over s- another toolshed! There are some Girl Scouts selling cookies up ahead!
Bob: Oh no...sir?!
Milton: Get out of the way! GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
(Milton runs over Girl Scout cookie stand)
(Girl Scouts screaming)
Bob: Are they okay? Did you hit them?
Milton: No! I ran over their stand! I crushed their lemonade and cookie stand like a bug, but they're okay! I see them behind me! Okay- how do I turn this thing off?!
Bob: There should be a killswitch right on your left! Just push the button there!
Milton: Wh...what, right here?
Bob: Yeah!
(bulldozer stops)
Milton: Okay, I got it! Tractor's off!
Bob: Sir....what is your name?
Milton: My name is Milton Fludgecow! I rented this yesterday to do a small plowing job in my yard and now it's turned into my worst nightmare! What kind of defective equipment are you people renting?!
Bob: Defective equipment?!
Milton: Yes, you sch-!
Bob: Sir, you shouldn't even be operating that thing!
Milton: You schmucks rented me defective equipment! I'm gonna file a report and I'm gonna sue your ass off! It's gonna be "Fludgecow's Bulldozer Rental" by the time I get through with you!
Bob: I'm calling the cops on you right now! Goodbye!
Milton: (stammering)
(Bob hangs up)
(ringback tone)
Trivia[]
- The Caterpillar D6 is a real track-type bulldozer that began production in 1935 and has evolved up to the present day.
- Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVEnGt1iWl0